I hate cell phones. Now that I’m commuting on a daily basis and exposed to them in public far more frequently than I was when I spent most of my time at home, I hate them more than ever.

I’m always disgusted every time I hear a phone ringing as I’m sitting on the bus or train to or from work. While there may be some people who need to have their phones on during such a public commute, I’ll wager a guess that it’s something like .01% of the population that really require this. Instead, I get to hear all about how some woman’s young daughter hasn’t eaten her breakfast, or about how Jimmy should be getting dressed for school now. Or, worse, having to know that “nothing much” is up with the person next to me and that they’ve just got off work, are on the train or bus, and should be home shortly. None of these things justify the annoyance to all of the people within earshot of this conversation.

It doesn’t help that, for some obscure reason, people actually raise their voices when they’re talking on their cell phones. I’m sure that this isn’t necessary either and that they’d be perfectly understandable to the person on the other end if they just spoke in a normal or, even better, slightly hushed voice. (Only once in the past 8 months have I actually not minded somebody speaking on their cell – it was a woman in front of me, and she was deliberately talking in such a quiet voice that I only knew she was talking if I made an effort to hear her.)

Something else that’s increasingly annoying me is the proliferation of all of these different rings. If somebody wants to put something “cute” on their phone, that’s fine. But don’t leave you phone on when you’re on the bus or train to have it played for everybody to hear. Because it will be played. Loudly (people don’t seem to know that there’s a volume control on their phones and that you can know your phones ringing without deafening everybody in the area), and for much longer than is really necessary (because everybody seems to have their phone buried under acres of paraphenalia in their purse or briefcase so that it take forever for them to dig it out and answer it – one would expect that if you think you are going to get a call you’d at least carry it with you in some fashion so that you could answer the call promptly).

Just the other day I had to sit next to some guy who actually spent 5 minutes “playing” with his ring, as he went from one to another, testing them all out to see which he liked best. He did eventually turn the volume down so that other people on the bus weren’t exposed to his experimentation, but he seemed oblivious to how annoying he was being for much longer than would be a seemingly normal and somewhat intelligent person.

I’d like to give all of these people a good thumping. Or at least their phones.

It’s all the more inexplicable to me because I know that I don’t like speaking on my own phone in public at all. I always leave it off and make any call I have to make once I’m in some quiet place where I won’t disturb other people, and there won’t be anybody around to overhear my private conversation. Only if I’m specifically expecting a call do I leave it on. And, even if it’s off, surely people have heard of voicemail…